In memory of the Flamingo

While we have a Yahtzee “family,” we’re simply a loose-knit collection of players.

I didn’t create the family with any great purpose. I did it simply because I could. I named it after my podcast because I do little things like that to promote a fledgling podcast I record 10-13 times a year. I invited people I had played against to join the family, and waited for random people to fill the slots. As I’ve learned how the families benefit us as players, I’ve taken advantage of that, like many of you have. I have removed players who haven’t been active, but I never wanted the group to be militant. I never wanted a high bar for participation. It’s a game, not a lifestyle.

Our Flamingo friend, whose name is Cathy, has been an active player. Our most active player. She’s been a cheerleader for the group. And as we know, she was our most prolific Family Feast player. I don’t remember how she ended up in our group, but she did. We were all fortunate for that.

She won one of our contests, and I sent her the prize. She seemed to appreciate it. So much so that she collected souvenirs from Route 66 and sent them to me recently. I never expected anything in return, she simply did that out of the kindness of her heart.

We chatted periodically by email. I hate writing long messages on my cellphone. Sometimes our notes were about Yahtzee, sometimes they were about anything else.

She made a reference in the group chat last week about trading in iTunes gift cards to get more free rolls on Yahtzee for the Family Feast. That surprised me. I didn’t realize she was that committed to playing. I assumed her significant contribution to our team score was fueled by hundreds of free rolls, just as mine was.

Cathy really enjoyed the game, and seemed more motivated to win than I was. When we were in fourth place, my hope was we could finish in the top 3 and earn the special “chef hat” family emblem. I would have been tickled with that. She dreamed bigger, and accounted for about 30 percent of our total points. Without her, there’s no way we would have finished in first place.

She never asked to have any role in the “leadership” of the team, but offered an occasional suggestion, and provided a second opinion, when I asked. When I asked for simple help, she went beyond my request.

I figured that if I couldn’t be available for a period of time in the future, she would be a good team leader, which doesn’t actually require you to do much if you don’t want to. I never asked her to be a co-leader, I just anointed her as the co-leader, and she seemed quite honored.

Late last week I thought about how to recognize her contribution to our team. I wondered if I should initiate a small “charity” fundraiser in celebration of our accomplishment after the Family Feast, and use that to provide an iTunes gift card to her as thanks, unbeknownst to everyone. I don’t know her financial situation. For all I know she is independently wealthy. I decided that giving her a gift card didn’t seem quite right, but I wanted to find a way to put together a small gift from a bunch of us in recognition of her effort. Perhaps we still can. I have her address.

I also have a small prize in my collection for the next time she wins a contest. The prizes I award are cheap, and not specific to any one person. I have one that I picked up especially for the next contest she wins, which will be never. 

Our family is a simple group of game players. I didn’t expect that the group would be interacting 10 or 20 years from now. We’ll move on for one reason or another, or the game will cease one day, and life will go on without a “family.” I can’t imagine why Cathy went from cheerleading for us in the final hours of the Family Feast on Monday afternoon and celebrating with us in the hours after to leaving the family suddenly, without a word to any of us, and then joining another family. 

Understanding people we don’t really know is a challenge, and sometimes we will never understand why they decide to do the things they do.

I was tired last night when I typed up my Family Feast recollections and posted them. I had planned to invite Cathy to share her own recollections on this blog page, as I thought it would be fun to read some of her thoughts about the hours she spent helping us win. I guess we can forget about that.  

Cathy sent me a collection of Route 66 gifts last week, did more than anyone else in our group to help us win the Family Feast and then left us without a word. I can’t explain it, and I may never understand why. And that’s the way she wants it, evidently.